The Council Method

"Councils should discuss objectives and concerns, with mutual understanding, being the ultimate goal." 

              -Elder Ballard, October 1993, General Conference 

The council method is a great way to work together and find a solution that will meet the needs of the whole group involved.  In order to practice this method effectively several steps should be followed:

1. Focus on fundamentals- in a world that is filled with sin, conflict, and confusion, we can find peace and safety in knowing and living the revealed truths of the gospel. 

2. Focus on people- confidentiality is critical. 

3. Promote free and open expression.

4. Participation is a privilege.

5. Lead with love- leadership based on love brings incredible power. 

This process not only can be used in a church council; it can also be very effective within the walls of the home. When the council method is used as a family, family members will be able have better understanding of one another and become closer as a family unit.

 Family Crisis

Last week in class we talked about crises; types of stressors, how they affect the family, and how we can overcome them.

Each family will experience some type of stressor during their lifetime. These stressors come about in different ways and can be both positive and negative. Listed below are several types of stressor events:

Types of Stressor Events

• Internal: Events that take place within the family. Ex: Suicide, abuse, divorce. 
• External: Events that begin outside of the family. Ex: natural disasters, terrorism. 
• Ambiguous: Events that are unclear and facts are not available. Ex: family member has been sick for months but doctor's do not know what the problem is.
• Non ambiguous: Events that are clear and facts are available. Ex: Family member is diagnosed with asthma. Doctor's prescribe medication to keep the asthma under control.
• Volitional: Events that are wanted and sought out. Ex: a new job, going to college.
• Non volitional: Events that are not sought out but just happen. Ex: getting fired from a job

Stressors come in all shapes and sizes and affect each family in a different way. Most stressors that we hear about are negative ones that often times separate families. However, this is not true in all cases. Some stressors can influence a family in a positive way and even bring them closer together. If this is true, then what determines whether a stressor is positive or negative? The answer is the family's perception of the situation. 

In order to overcome the crises that we will come into our lives we can turn our Heavenly Father and our loved ones for guidance and support.

 “My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.”

                                                                         - President Thomas S. Monson

 

The Birds and The Bees 

Every parent should realize that there will come a time, probably sooner than they except, when they will need to talk to their children about sex. This talk could be a little uncomfortable for both parents and children at first, but well worth the few awkward moments. However, in order to ensure the "the birds and the bees talk" goes smoothly, there are certain things that parents should and should not do. 

Don't:
1.  Tell your children that sex is bad

2. Teach plumbing lessons

3. Use improper names for body parts

4. Be ashamed

5. Leave it up to someone else to talk to your kids

6. Shut down

Do:

1. Talk to your children openly

2. Be your child's source of knowledge

3. Talk to your children together and husband and wife

4. Make sure "the talk" is not negative

5. Answer questions

6. Don't have "the talk"; be talking the whole time

I hope these few tips will be helpful when talking to your children about sex. It is so important that parents step up to the plate and inform their children on such a special and sacred topic. If parents don't, someone else will!

Wedding bells are in the air

This week in class we talked more about relationships and marriage. One point that I really liked was that however people start their relationship is usually how their relationship will continue. I never really thought very much about this concept but I definitely believe that it is true. I have observed many relationships and have noticed the good patterns in successful marriages have started long before these couples were married, during the time that they were dating. So remember that when you start dating someone be sure to start off on a good note, because research shows that is how the relationship will continue.

We also had a conversation about weddings, including the actual wedding ceremony and reception. We talked about how to make a wedding more focused on the actual couple and not so much on the festivities. This also tied in with another point that was made, in that we should plan for marriage not the wedding. Too many times people make such a big deal planing the wedding and forget to focus on what will happen after the wedding when real life sets in again.